Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
