Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
