We're like a lot better than the average bears
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
