I'm pants shitting drunk right now
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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