When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
