In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
