so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm always down for nudity.
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