i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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