This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
