I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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