I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
