i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
