Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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