Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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