hell yes lets make some ravioli
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
