how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
