Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
