She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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