i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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