Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
