This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
