He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
