Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
