i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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