At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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