KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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