She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
