No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
