he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
