All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Someone signed my nipple.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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