His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
