I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
