Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
