But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
