I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
