i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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