I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
