Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
