He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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