Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
