There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
