I didn't shave. On purpose
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
