i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
