I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
