If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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