How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
