If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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