I am in a vortex of obligation.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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