She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
