I wanna bring you to show and tell
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
