That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
