OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize