The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
