Where is the hickey?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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