My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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