we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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