Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
