I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
