lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
