Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize