Apparently you make a good broom.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
