If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
