I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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